Over this past winter, I watch a video about radical neighboring and it really struck a cord with me. I do remember as a child that people, neighbors, talked to each other. They share backyard cookouts or cups of sugar. Now we are lucky if we know our neighbors names let alone spend any time with them. In my town I live in a section on the hill that used to be known as Little Italy (I was told this by a neighbor) because most of the residents were Italian. I am not sure it is still that demographic as most of those folks are aging out and the neighborhood is more blended with newer home owners. The house I live in belonged to a generational Italian family since 1916 and will hopefully stay in my family for many more years to come.
The idea of radical neighboring is to share your abundance without desire for monetary exchange. Our garden is massive. It fills an entire house lot and we have around 25 beds. We are two people and last year I slaved away my summer trying to save every last morsel. The downstairs freezer is still full and I decided that I don’t really like how fresh garden veggies do on the thaw or even cooked after frozen. Not sure what the big companies do, but it doesn’t taste the same. I think that is because veggies were meant to be fresh. So this year I had ideas that I was going to have a free farm stand for all of my neighborhood. Reality has shown me something different.
I often have trouble with literal translation. I can get very concrete. I watch the video and felt that my becoming a radical nieghbor needed to be on the same scale as the guy in the video. To be honest, I would never actually be able to match it. He started it on a gifted 500 acre farm with livestock and so much space. The sentiment is right though. Every week he would host free meals made with everything from the farm. It was a way to share food and bring people together. Having a stand out front of the house means that anyone driving by can get veggies but there would not be the interaction of meeting them, knowing them, and understanding who my community is. This was the part that I loved. I am the person who always makes more food than necessary and feels very fulfilled when I feed people. Putting out veggies on a stand means I miss out on the best part.
Even when I am trying to do something great, ego can get in the way. It tells me that if I’m not feeding large scale, I have failed. This all or nothing thinking is something I have struggled with for most of my life. It requires patience and pause. The pause is sometimes months before I can figure out what it is I’m really supposed to be doing. This can feel very defeating at times. But the other day the solution arrived.
Earlier this week, Chris and I brought veggies to my ex-husband’s parents. I know that might sound weird but they were in my life for a very long time and when you live in small towns you don’t really get the ability to separate yourself. But I have always loved them and I am still friends with my ex-husband who lives a mile or so away from me. In fact, he was the person who helped get me back into gardening. This was an unforseen development honestly because in all the years we were together he never talked about it. But last year he invited me into his garden co-op and we share foods that maybe didn’t get grown by the other. My point is that I brought them a few squash and cucumbers and we visited awhile. They aren’t technically my neighbors as they live almost a town away, but the sentiment is correct.
Then I brought my friend Amy a bag of veggies at her shop, The Fabric Chicken, and she pulled every item out of the bag and squealed with glee as she marveled at their beauty. This is the payoff: joy, conversation, relieving loneliness, feeding people and gratitude. In the same theme, Amy and I teamed up to pay forward all the abundance that comes into the Fabric Chicken by making chicken pin cushions that sell for five dollars. The proceeds go to Meals on Wheels in our town. There is a conversation around these “Chicks for Charity” that she has with customers that makes us all feel good. Most of the chickens are made with donated fabric scraps which helps keep fabric from the landfill and makes for a full circle sort of donation cycle.
What I realized last night as I drove home is that I am being a radical neighbor already, maybe not in the way I had envisioned it, but I am still doing it. I walk veggies across the street to the old couple, I bring veggies to my yoga teacher (who also lives in my neighborhood), and share veggies with my co-workers. I even traded veggies with a neighbor up the road for a beautiful blue roasting pan. I am spending less time “saving” this food, but cooking it fresh and nourishing ourselves and sometimes my kiddo when she is available.
Maybe over time it will grow, but like the garden itself, I have to practice patience. Gardening is a lot of work on the front and back ends, but the middle is a meditation. It is a test of my strength of mind. Every day I go out there and check their progress, eager to pick and consume, but also eager to temper my ego into waiting for something to be done. So if you know my gardens and see me in the yard, stop by for a chat and leave with something if it is ready. Be a neighbor. Let’s bring back those times when we all knew each other and looked out for one another.
Eat fresh. Get your hands dirty. Talk to your neighbors. Put your feet in the grass. Be the person you want others to be. It might seem small but it makes a world of difference one little human at a time. Thanks for reading.
Aleathia
Aleathia Drehmer 