Transformations

It’s been several weeks since I gave up on denial and started on my second blood pressure medication. I was in denial because I didn’t understand how my blood pressure could get higher when I was doing long distance cardio four times a week, had radically changed my diet, and lost 30 lbs. But, it did.

I put the doctor off for a month with a request to see if I could change the numbers myself. I tried cutting out salt and managing my water intake. I wore compression stockings and ate even better than before, but to no avail, I was living at 160/90 on a blood pressure pill. I felt wholly defeated. My doctor said, “You can’t beat genetics.” And for some reason this made a whole cascade of things line up in my brain like one of my aunts had four heart attacks and two open heart surgeries before she was 60 and her mom had a heart attack so bad it gave her a stroke. Almost every person in my family on both sides is on 2-3 blood pressure medications plus water pills and cholesterol medications. I am not beating genetics.

On the first day, after about two hours, I suddenly noticed that I didn’t have a headache that I didn’t know I had. Instant pain relief. Though the medication officially takes two weeks to be effective, it worked for me in the first few days. For once I was glad I didn’t put up a fight for the second medication.

At our last visit we also talked about menopause. I am here to tell you that my last provider knew less than nothing and she was a woman. It is such a massive time in a woman’s life where she literally loses most of her hormones and no one tells you ahead of time what that roller coaster ride is going to be like or how to manage it. They don’t give you a barf bag either. Nor tissues. Nor patience not to kill people and inanimate objects.

Most of what I know I learned from my woman’s group or from reading books. I never once heard my mother or grandmother speak about it. You don’t really think about it until it comes for you. It is sneaky…temperature issues randomly, mild irritation, maybe a little more depression, less patience, fatigue, brain fog, weird aches and pains which you can definitely write off to just about anything when you are a woman in the 45-55 range.

First step was to stop birth control. I thought that was weird but she said the pill, even if in menopause, will make you have a cycle. That is irritating on it’s own. How come my last doctor never said this to me? So I stopped the pill and no period. I had my hormone levels checked and it was in the “you don’t make eggs no more” range and I started on an estrogen patch and progesterone pill.

I have to tell you that this has been life changing. I have been with my boyfriend for almost 5 years and after three days of hormone replacement he said, “you’re different, more youthful and playful.” I hate to think of what I was before because those are lovely comments to say. I was probably being a troll. But in my own body, I notice that my joints don’t ache as much, I feel like I am a sexual being again, my mind isn’t as cloudy, I’m sleeping better and have more energy. I am able to make better choices for myself because I’m not irritated all the time by being without my natural hormones.

I was reminded today by a meme that said “middle age is 38, not 50” and this is both wonderful and terrifying at the same time. I will be 52 this year and in almost as good a shape as I was when I was 25. I have an amazing relationship and I am building a community of women around me that I never had before in my life. I am leaning on the wisdom of lessons learned from this life time. I suppose what I am saying ladies is don’t suffer through menopause. This is the time when you get your life back, when your kids have gone to their own paths in life, and you can open up your world to what you want to do. Make the doctors listen. Don’t let them scare you away from hormones from that one article that came out from a study in 2002. There are risks with every medicine but they never seem to get as excited as when you ask for hormone replacement. Listen to your gut. You can have a good life at the end.

Happy Spring everyone. Get out in the sun. Frolic in the cherry blossoms. Get your hands dirty in the garden. Thanks for reading.

Aleathia